Almost Interesting

I finished my Computer Science exam (totally aced it), and went to a coffee shop I like: The Organic Coffee Company. After having a good sit and enjoying a vegan cookie, I started back home, walking up 5th street with my earbuds in and Eminem on. About halfway up the block, some bum on a bike rides close to my head and makes come whiny, loud, grainy sound in my ear. I was startled, so I turned around and completely nailed the bum in the face! The bum falls off his bike, nose bleeding, and begins flailing his arms around, shouting that he’ll call the police. However, nobody who saw what happened would call for him. They thought he deserved it. One of the witnesses (of which there were about ten) said he’d seen this guy startling women on the street before simply in order to amuse himself. I was satisfied that nothing would happen to me in retribution, I went into the mall, washed my hands, and walked home. This occurred about twenty minutes ago.

At 12:40 today, Rev. Jerry Falwell, well-known agent of apartheid and anti-semitism (among other things) and trailblazer of the ignorance movement has been pronounced dead! I was so elated that I immediately whipped up a batch of Rice Krispie squares!

Don’t worry, I used vegan marshmallows. (You can find them at VeganStore.com. They make the treats taste the same as with regular marshmallows, except they never dry out!)

Good riddance to bad rubbish.